


Words I should've said sooner.

by RenSoo, Slothiccc



Series: Death, Revival and Forgiveness. [1]
Category: Servamp (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Credit to Astra199 for original idea!, Death, Heavy Angst, Kyong told me to do this, Licht is mentioned, M/M, Mahiru is a dick, My First Work in This Fandom, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-05
Updated: 2017-05-05
Packaged: 2018-10-28 08:46:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10827837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RenSoo/pseuds/RenSoo, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slothiccc/pseuds/Slothiccc
Summary: Kuro has a crush on his Eve and tried his best to show it through everyday activities, hoping the boy would understand this sudden change of behavior.Though, it doesn't seem to work as he is replaced by some other.Through pain and suffering, Kuro knows how lonely life is without Mahiru. Hopfully Mahiru doesn't feel anything as they break apart for good.





	Words I should've said sooner.

It was the good things that made Kuro fall hard for Mahiru.  
  
His smile, His laugh, the way he helps people that need it, the kindness and most of all, the way he said that he and Kuro will always be partners forever.  
  
Maybe that is what makes Kuro do whatever it takes to make Mahiru happy and feel appreciated. Kuro doesn’t even know if Mahiru knew how much he means to the old vampire.  
  
Maybe he’ll never know. 

* * *

 “Kuro? Hungry?” Mahiru opened the bag, letting the cat out to stretch out his paws, letting out a yawn. “Yeah.. What’s for lunch?” Kuro answered quietly, although the girls always gave him sweets to fill him up too, but nothing can beat the best taste of Mahiru’s home cooking. “Well we just have riceballs since I woke up a little late due to studying, will that be okay?” Mahiru asked, but Kuro could almost eat anything so he didn’t really mind it. “Yeah, that’s fine.” he replied, receiving said snack, sitting down on the desk to eat. Yeah, Mahiru’s cooking is the best.  
  
“Hey Kuro, I actually have someone meeting me behind the school today, he said he wanted to tell me something urgently. So could you possibly wait for me?” Mahiru asked the cat, Kuro raised a brow and gulped his meal down, tilting his head. “Who’s this guy?” Kuro asked, he didn’t want to sound too possessive, but he really wanted to confess to Mahiru about how much he loves this teen, even if they’re such a pain, he wanted to feel the warmth of Mahiru more often.  
  
“Well, he’s a good guy..” Mahiru blushed, trailing off his speech as if he was lost in thought, this made questions bloom throughout Kuro’s brain. _“Does he like the guy?  What is with that blush? Did I meet him at some point? Why doesn’t he want to take me with him, it’s not that important right?”_  All those questions were going to be left unanswered, Kuro just nodded slowly, as if to tell Mahiru to continue. “And…?” Kuro drawled out, waiting patiently for the brunette to speak again. Mahiru shook his head to get his thoughts in place so he could answer the curious cat, if Kuro was asking who wants to see him, then that can only mean that this lazy neet vampire really cares for him. That feeling of warmth just let itself bloom all up inside his chest, Kuro may look like a lazy neet, but inside, he has a heart of a guardian.  
  
“Well, we met maybe a month and a half ago. He helped me with this question that I didn’t understand. He’s sweet, kind, helpful and generous. I’ll let you meet him actually so you don’t have to wait for me, how about that? You can come out of my bag when he tells me what he wants to say. Will that be okay?” Mahiru asked, smiling at the black cat sitting on his bottom next to his bento, red eyes staring into his brown ones. “Yeah...Gotta make sure this guy doesn’t hurt you.” Kuro didn’t mean to say, sighing out a ‘what a pain’ as he dips into Mahiru’s bag in embarrassment when Mahiru started chuckling at his sudden kind words. “That was adorable Kuro, I’m sure he won’t hurt me, If he does, you’re not going to kill him, I’ll handle it myself.” Mahiru told him, still chuckling, which made Kuro’s face burn a brighter red than before. “Such a pain...Can’t deal..” Kuro all but said, making Mahiru start a new wave of chuckling.  
  
_Mahiru is going to be the end of me…..Such a pain…_  
  
_✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁_  
  
It was the time of when Mahiru was going to meet the unknown male, and Kuro was awake to hear every little thing, it was very unlike him to do such things, but with his love getting stronger towards the boy, all he wanted to do was make sure nothing would hurt him and take that smile and laugh away from him. Kuro went through much harder scenarios in the past than Mahiru, but Kuro feels like Mahiru deserves it all, and he’ll be there to help the brunette whenever he needed it.  
  
Well, that’s when everything shatters. Hearing the confession of the unknown male give to Mahiru, Kuro was hoping that Mahiru would reject him in the kindest way possible. The teen didn’t do what he hoped for, instead he accepted the confession with his own. This broke that one area in his chest that he truly gave his all to Mahiru. His heart.  
  
Kuro didn’t come out of the bag, he decided to just pretend to sleep so Mahiru didn’t make him look his enemy in the eye. _“You’re going to be lonely again..”_ Kuro’s thoughts took over, squeezing his eyes tightly as he tried not to cry. He heard Mahiru kiss the other male, and it hurt, it hurt so much that he wish he could’ve died at that moment when Mahiru belonged to another rather than him.  
  
“I’m so happy! I can’t believed he liked me back! Didn’t you hear Kuro? Were you asleep? That’s fine! It must’ve been too gross and sappy for you anyways! This must be the best day ever!” Mahiru went on and on as he headed home. Kuro just stayed silent, too broken and betrayed to say anything. Where did he go wrong? Kuro didn’t know, he went through every attempted flirt and all those times he touched Mahiru in a kind and loving way. What did he do wrong?  
✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁  
  
Mahiru changed, and it hurt more and more each day. Mahiru went out more and came home exhausted, he would barely pay attention to Kuro these days, humming and smiling too brightly to himself. He would even forget to make Kuro breakfast and lunch, making the cat go to the girls who adored him more than Mahiru while the teen was eating lunch with his newfound partner he would spend his life with.  
  
The smile and the small kisses full of love in those eyes as they separated from each other. Every little touch they did to each other made Kuro almost lose it, wanting to kill the guy who took his everything from him. Mahiru was his life, the teen who helped him through his past and made him feel better, telling the vampire how much he’s needed and how many people would be upset if he were to disappear, including himself. And honestly, it didn’t seem that Mahiru would even notice when he disappears. Being too wrapped up with his significant other to notice the depressed cat as he tried to get his attention with Mahiru brushing him off as he went to bed. falling asleep with a smile, possibly thinking of the one he gave his heart to.  
  
Kuro often tried sleeping in cat form next to Mahiru, trying to get his attention in the morning, but instead he’ll find himself on the floor or his cat bed, with Mahiru telling him not to sleep beside him anymore. That hurt more than the hunger for something to eat, Mahiru would even cook for the other male. That made Kuro change his mind about being special to Mahiru, he was just like a brittle flower, it’ll get old and wilted, like most people, you’ll throw it out and get a new and brand new flower to have with you. But this new flower that Mahiru gotten, seemed to have a better look to them, not caring about the old wilted flower he has at home. Maybe he’ll even throw it away, not attempting to help it back to health.  
  
Mahiru would be happy, and Kuro wouldn’t have to suffer all the years that they had together, all the time that Kuro tried to get Mahiru’s attention and try to get the guts to finally tell the boy how much he loves him. But he’s still that old flower, alone, broken and unable to come back to full health to get the love from the teen who picked him up that day.  
✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁  
  
Kuro would often cry alone in the bathroom or the bed Mahiru lays his head to sleep, and he would leave the area before said boy came back home to sleep after a whole day of being out with his new lover. Not noticing the way Kuro would look at him, with hurt and betrayal in his eyes. Mahiru wouldn’t even look at him, and that’s what made the old vampire give in to his urges, taking a blade to slice through his skin. One. Two. Three. New deep slashes into his pale flesh, not caring for the blood that would drip down his arm and onto the floor, where he laid his hand limply on his side. He didn’t have the motivation to keep going, the contract was getting weaker and weaker everyday, not that he’ll tell Mahiru, that would make him have to talk to the boy, and he didn’t want to do that. He didn’t want to take Mahiru’s happiness away, and if it meant disappearing and dying, then so be it. At least he wouldn’t have to see how weak-hearted he is.  
  
More slices, deeper this time so it would take more time to heal. Four. Five. Six.  
  
He didn’t want to do this anymore, the bell could break any moment and he’ll die and disappear. At least Mahiru wouldn’t notice he’s gone, Mahiru wouldn’t see what he’s done. Or maybe, it was Kuro’s fault? For not confessing to his Eve sooner. But then again, he’s a vampire and Mahiru is a human, Humans want to spend their lives and die with their lovers together, something Kuro couldn’t do. And that hurt more than the knife digging into his skin.  
✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁✁  
  
Mahiru actually goes out one day, not telling Kuro where he’s going, not that the vampire wasn’t used to that already. To meet Misono and the others since the younger Eve of Lust offered to come out. Of course Mahiru would bring his new lover, forgetting that he had his own servamp at home, alone with the negative thoughts that kept roaming his mind every minute of every hour.  
  
“Hey Mahi! Where’s Nii-san and who’s that?” Hyde asked, eyeing at the stranger cautiously. “Oh Kuro? He wanted to stay home. And him?” Mahiru would smile cheerfully at his lover, then looking back to answer the hedgehog. “He’s my new boyfriend, oh man you gotta hear about what we did on this one date! It was hilarious!” Mahiru said, but Hyde didn’t want to hear it, looking to Lily, who had the same look on his face as him. The look of sadness and worry for their older brother, knowing that their brother has been replaced by another. “Licht-tan, I have to do something real quick.” Hyde said, Licht was about to answer but Hyde didn’t wait for an answer, moving away from the group to check up on the well-being of the oldest sibling, as he was all alone with his emotions. And all the siblings knew that his emotions will kill him at some point.  
  
Lockpicking the door was easy, opening it wide enough to enter, not spotting his sibling yet, after a while him and licht would visit and his sibling would be sitting on the couch (or laying on it) playing his 3DS and eating chips. He would expect his sibling would do whatever he wants when his eve was out and he was left alone for who knows how many hours.  
  
The twisted feeling in his gut finally manifested as he called out for his sibling, no answer. Odd..  
  
He would move around the house, checking areas that his sibling would possibly be sleeping at in cat form. There was no sign of him, so he moved onto the rooms. Knocking on the bedroom that would usually have both his sibling and his Eve sleeping. There was nobody once he opened the door. The feeling of dread took over, hitting him like a truck.  
  
Hyde finally noticed that the bathroom was closed and a light turned on within the room, so he moved, walking slowly and cautiously. Not knowing the reason why, but the feeling of dread was higher and he didn’t know what to expect behind this door.  
  
Knocking gently, he called out for his sibling once again, hearing no answer, but he swears that the eldest brother is huddled up in the room, so with no hesitance, he turned the knob, only the sibling he was seeking with a bleeding arm and a half-dead look on him. The expression on the sibling made the hedgehog run over to hold the other into his arms, holding up the cat’s arm to see the damage. They were deep, too deep. But those wasn’t as bad as the broken bell that laid in the palm of the bloody hand. This gave Hyde a sense of protectiveness and awareness that his brother is _literally_ dying!  
  
Calling for help, he made sure that they wouldn’t tell their Eves why they would be leaving their sides in a rush. Arriving with worry and pain for the eldest to be the one dying of a broken heart.  
  
“H-yde…” Kuro would call out, all that said hedgehog would do was tell him that he’ll be okay and to hold on for the others to come and help him. Choking on his own tears as he feels his brother’s breathing slow down as well as his skin would turn paler. But he would still tell the oldest how much he means to them and the rest of the siblings, telling him that he should’ve just called out to them for help. But being Kuro, he would keep it to himself, letting those feelings ruin him. It was painful to watch the way the red eyes of the cat would slowly drift shut and then open again as if he was fighting the feeling of sleeping, wanting to hear what Hyde wanted to say more than the feeling of never waking up once he sleeps.  
  
It was almost it for the oldest when the other siblings ran through the door, carrying supplies that could help Kuro, though all of those idea flew out the window as they saw the way the eldest looked, there was no saving him, he lost too much strength and the will to fight to stay awake anymore. They all decided to team up, taking the eldest brother’s gentle body and lay it down in the guest bedroom, knowing that Kuro didn’t want to die in a bed that would have the only person he loved so much sleep there, without realizing that the old flower died there. It killed the siblings to watch Kuro slowly go, watching the tears form in the cat’s eyes as he had trouble looking at all of his siblings seated around him, making sure he’s comfortable when he leaves this world.  
  
“Hey Nii-san… Is there any wishes you want us to grant?” Tsubaki was the one to speak up, due to the forming brother complex he had with the cat. Kuro attempted to answer, but his lungs wouldn’t work properly as he wanted them to be, there were tears, not from just him, but the other five siblings that sat with him until his passing. Kuro wanted to say something! Anything! Something a big brother would say as he left his siblings behind, though his lungs decided to make that impossible.  
  
He somehow gained a deep breath though. Turning his head to his family before that breath is wasted, giving his final words before he let his eyes fall shut permanently.  
  
_I love you guys….Thank you for everything…_

**Author's Note:**

> So Kyong-chan hits me up at 2am crying her eyes out as she tells me about this one fic, so she asks if I make an angst with what summary she gave me at that time with a sad!Kuro and a Stupidass!Mahiru angst. 
> 
> And thus here it is and she's suffering again. She loves suffering, trust me. She wants me to write more angst since I'm better at it lmao! In due time my sweet..sweet sinner. In due time. 
> 
> I will always make Kyong my co-author just in case I get bad reviews and I'm not the only one getting shit lmao, and because she wanted me to write this, thus she gets credit too.


End file.
